Fort Rules

In fact, the earliest drafts of the book didn’t have the explanation that’s now included in the first two sections of the book (About the Fort and About the Kids Who Built the Fort). The question I really wasn’t ready to answer was, “What gave them the idea in the first place?” Maybe they’re just a product of their environment. We have five children, ages 4 to 15. We’ve probably had rules for everything at one time or another. Some really seemed to stick and make an impression. Beginning when our oldest was old enough to be out of the shopping cart, we instituted the “rules for the store” which the children would repeat before each new shopping experience:

• 1. No running
• 2. No screaming
• 3. No touching
• 4. No asking for things
• 5. Stay with Mommy & Daddy!

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve said or heard the following “how to obey” mantra, I’d be a Rich Dad:

Q: How do you need to obey?
A: Right away, the first time, with a happy attitude.

But my favorite of all, is the list of “rules” the kids made for themselves just so they could all get along during their “secret fort meetings.” My wife sent me a copy of the kids’ rules when I was serving in Iraq. I got a kick out of them and passed them around the office and e-mailed them to my entire address book. The rules started popping up in cubicles and conference rooms. I eventually decided to publish a book (Fort Rules: A Guide to Getting Along, released June 09) applying the kid’s rules to grown-up relationships. The list begins with “Obey Leader at All Times” and ends with ” Behave at All Times.”

The kids who played in the fort (or at least the ones old enough to write) all signed the list in agreement to abide by them.

re: gender differences in the workplace. Now, I have a friend (a guy) in the consulting/coaching/speaking business who has teamed up with a gal in the same business and they do a gig on that very subject. So, I should get with them and get their take on this observation. Here’s the gist of the e-mail:

To: Fort Rules
From: Office Manager

We have 3 workers and a 4 day a week receptionist – all female. Men never work out, they just want to talk to the boss all day and be his partner.

Now I’m not exactly sure what a “partner” does. Whenever I hear the word I think of lawyers and cowboys, and I’ve never had the desire to be either one. From the context of the e-mail though, I get the sense that in this instance the wanna-be-partners wanted to hang out and talk golf, which is my perception of what a partner does (unless you’re the kind that rides a quarter horse and hog-ties cattle). Now I’m wondering what a partner gets paid. Enough I imagine to be able to stand around and talk golf during the work day. Then, if the pretend partners were doing partner type work, I wonder if they were being compensated as a partner (equal pay for equal work, right). Maybe I should have been a lawyer. This is one case I would have liked to take, particularly since the company no longer hires men (probably a wise decision, given the history).

Even as I typed the words “real job” I had to laugh. I was the operations officer at the Navy Survival School in Maine. I spent a week in an office setting, mostly doing crisis management followed by about four days in the field at the Navy’s remote training site in northern Maine. And somehow that’s my definition of a “real job.”

Anyway, back to the point. During the every-other-week commute I tired of the radio programs I normally listened to, and you can only shout along to Boston’s More Than A Feelin’ so many times before you drive yourself crazy. That’s when I realized that for a segment of my journey I could catch the John Tesh Radio Show if I timed my trip just right.

If you’ve never heard the show, it’s full of trivia and advice, usually based on studies, that’s supposed to be helpful in bringing about richer, fuller lives (or something along those lines). I’ve long since forgotten most of the advice that was supposed to enrich my life, c’est la vie. However, as I was contemplating starting a consulting business and in the midst of attempting to write my first book, Fort Rules, I paid careful attention to anything dealing with relationships, the work environment, productivity, etc.

The one piece of information that stood out for me, apart from all the other life-altering information on the radio show, was the most common answer people gave when asked why they don’t like their jobs. That answer: People don’t get along with the other people at work.

I then had two thoughts: Why can’t we all just get along? And, “ I really need to finish my book – It’ll solve most of the world’s problems.

We’ll, at long last, the book is done! As for the rest of the world’s problems, that will take me just a bit longer…